There’s no escaping it, Christmas adverts have taken over our TVs and our social media. Driving around our neighbourhood, decorations are appearing in windows. Some gardens have been adorned with lights, inflatable Santas; Clark Griswold would be proud.

I don’t want to come across as the Grinch or Scrooge, but I find the lead up to Christmas quite stressful.

Don’t get me wrong, I love it when the Christmas items start appearing in the shops and the adverts arrive on our television screens. I’m taken back to that time of my childhood when Christmas truly was magical, waiting for Santa’s arrival and a huge pile of presents at the foot of my bed.

I think we can all get lost in the nostalgic version of Christmas that we love. Of course, when we are children, we know nothing of the sacrifices our parents had to make to bring us this magic.

Christmas to me was family time, time spent doing things that we didn’t normally do. It all started on the first day of December, when we walked down the stairs to be greeted by an advent calendar on the wall. I was the eldest so I got to open window one (yes, we had to share an advent calendar!) I opened that first door and that was it, it was nearly Christmas. No chocolate, no beauty item. Simply a picture. Not just any picture though, it was a Christmas picture, maybe of a donkey, maybe Santa. It didn’t matter; I’d found door number one and Christmas had begun.

The first change I noticed started with chocolate advent calendars, and one each to save any arguments. Now the excitement had moved from opening the door to a new day, to getting the chocolate before breakfast.

I still love an advent calendar. I love the surprises. I love the anticipation. My own family advent calendar has now been replaced by random Christmas activities that we aim to do each day, with photographic evidence of course such as:

• Write Christmas cards while listening to Christmas music
• Enjoy a Christmas tipple
• Donate blankets and goodies to the dog shelter.

This is me trying to hold onto the magic of Christmas and to share it with others. Alas, I think a beauty advent box might be much preferred.

Christmas cards

Next up was Christmas cards. A pack of Christmas cards. This was a task I didn’t look forward to. Being asked to write in a card for an aunt I hadn’t seen all year felt like torture to me. I wanted all the nice things of Christmas but not these chores. A mixed pack of cards at least gave a glimpse of Christmas; the robin red breast, the wintry scenes. We all know snow at Christmas is another level.

I still find writing Christmas cards a chore. I wish I could see that Christmas cards are an opportunity to connect with friends and family that may be miles apart, yet still fondly in our thoughts. It is the connection that’s missing and I believe we all need more of that.

With my own children, a cold December afternoon would be spent making Christmas cards, with glitter, foil, tissue paper and felt pens working their magic. The results might not have been what I was hoping for, but I like to think the recipient was cheered for a short while.

Does a Facebook message informing everyone that you will not be sending cards but donating to a chosen charity this year bring the same level of love? Does it evoke the same nostalgia? … and does the promised donation actually make it to the chosen charity?

Why is there so much advertising around Chistmas?

Quite simply, Christmas is massively important for the economy. The Bank of England reports that an average household spends on around 29% more than a typical month. Spending on music and books grows the most, then drink and specialist food. There was me thinking that sales of the TV and Radio Times were no longer relevant. For those younger than me, check it out, these were big in the 80s.

I have so many questions about Christmas spending:

New furniture/carpets/ decorating

Why do we suddenly need new furniture to arrive before Christmas? I understand that we want our homes to look special for Christmas, but I’ve lost count of the number of people stressing that they need new furniture for Christmas in time for the visitors. My bet is that these visitors have seen the old furniture many times and would probably only notice the Christmas decorations anyway… and what happens when the red wine is spilled and chocolate covered fingers meet that new sofa? Wouldn’t it be better to wait until the house feels empty when the decorations are down. I think I’m trying to convince myself here.

Electrical items

I understand that gifting electrical items could be a good idea. Who wouldn’t love a brand new mobile phone on Christmas morning? Buying these new items helps to keep the Christmas list simple. What I don’t understand is buying these super expensive items, then other (expensive) gifts as well because (the phone) was a necessity. If that’s the case, why not simply buy the new phone earlier in the year.

Why do we need a brand new television for Christmas? All this adding stress to an already busy Christmas period. Who wants to be wall mounting a giant TV and fiddling with setting it up when we should be enjoying the festivities. This is adding to my stress just thinking about it.

Clothing

Who doesn’t love a wardrobe refresh for Christmas? New clothes for the special day itself. I loved nothing more than seeing my family decked out in their finery. More accurately, they were decked out in their finest sports brands, waiting to check out how they fared with their friends.

Aside from the spend on new clothes, there is a new addition to the Christmas spend. Christmas jumpers, pyjamas and festive wear. There’s no denying these look lovely, festive and a lot of fun. The problem I see is that there is a very short window when they can be worn – December. For adults, these items may be put away and brought out next year, but for growing children this seems such a waste. I know they look adorable, but I can’t help feeling that money could be better spent elsewhere. Beware my Grinch again.

TV adverts

It seems TV adverts have now taken on a life of their own. Where once Slade rang out over some cheesy advert, and toys were shown in between all children’s programmes, epic tales have now taken over. Millions are spent on huge productions from retailers trying to show their message of what makes a great Christmas.

Whether it’s the supermarkets competing, or the high street retailers nudging us to their products, the end result is the same. My (our) Christmas doesn’t quite live up to it. We should be doing more or better and we’re letting our family down. I can’t be the only one who has ever felt this way.

When so many of us are struggling to put food on the table or heat our homes, to see the feasts being served up by TV advertising is shameful. These banquets, with loving smiling families all sitting down in the glow of Christmas cheer must be a kick in the teeth of a great many families. Reminiscent of Ebeneezer Scrooge gorging himself while poor Bob Cratchett and his wife struggle to feed their family.

I’ve lost count of the times I’ve braved the supermarkets in Christmas week, packing so many delights into my trolley. The sweet smell of cinnamon filling the air, Slade blaring out their Merry Christmas. Being pushed and shoved as arms longer than mine reach for yet another must have item. It’s only one day. I remind myself every year but then get drawn into the madness.

Once the big day has been and gone, and we’ve polished off the last pigs in blankets. Guilt set’s in as I realise that those much needed items are now out of date and need throwing away.

How does this happen?

We get drawn into the madness. Advertising is done aggressively by marketers to make us feel that we NEED all this Christmas STUFF. With the dark evenings and mornings, the month long sniffles, it’s easy to let our guard down. Spending more money than we have, on stuff we don’t need. We can always pay it off in the new year, and have a quiet month once it’s all over. Have you noticed how long the month of January is, and the extra long wait for that pay to land. STRESS!

We tell ourselves that we won’t do it again next year. Isn’t it time we make a stand and instead remind ourselves, that it’s our Christmas. We are in control.

We don’t need all the extras to make our Christmas special. That special that we are all seeking comes from within. From noticing the magic. From knowing that we make the day special just by being TOGETHER. It’s the togetherness we need, not the debt.

It’s time to make our own traditions in whatever form that may take. If you want a quiet Christmas, tell your family and friends before the day. Then, look forward to a quiet, cozy, and peaceful celebration.

If it’s a party atmosphere you’re after, gather the family to create the invitations. Plan the event exactly how YOU want it.

Ask for help with as many items as possible since people like to be helpful. It makes them feel special and that they are appreciated. Then have the best time.

If it’s a trip away, log cabin or not then go for it. Saving up throughout the year to escape to the snow or sun will give something to look forward to.

Whatever you decide for your Christmas, it will be the best thing for you and your family.

This is a difficult this time of year for those of us that have lost or are struggling. The constant reminders that it should be a magical time can leave us feeling overwhelmed, lonely and struggling. I for one, am trying to remember the good times and making more memories.

Christmas is just a snapshot of the year. What started out as a religious celebration shouldn’t now become a burden. Accident and emergency departments are full at this magical time of the year. Extra alcohol or extra stresses can easily lead to short fuses and terrible decisions.

Let’s make this Christmas a time to celebrate. Knowing that you’ve done all you can for yourself and your family and that you’ve done it your way. After all that’s the way to move through life without regrets.